


Shattering Morality

by Spacegaywritings



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Addiction, Bad coping mechanisms, Blood, Cutting, Emotional dependence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, False Friends, Feelings of uselessness, Helplessness, Injury, Invalidation, Isolation, Other, Persuasion - Freeform, Repression, Scars, Self-Harm, Self-Worth Issues, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Violence, everyone is kinda shit, internalised self deprecation, knives and blades, others might appear in a quick mention but that is it, possessive rough virgil, self blaming, self harm ideation, stoic bastard logan, twisted friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23383465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacegaywritings/pseuds/Spacegaywritings
Summary: Logan likes to ignore Patton’s contributions, belittle him and limit his influence on Thomas - he had to, after all, Patton kept distracting the man and ran off to play with friends and be an altruist when Logan had made plans.In order to keep up productivity, Logan needs to put Patton into his place once more. The moral side knows it has to be done but it hurts when he feels the rejection, hears the hostile tone and cold words Logan uses. But as always,he can rely on his best friend to make it go away.Just this time, Virgil is using extra awkward methods to make him feel better. Too bad Morality starts finding a bunch of comfort in this dangerous
Relationships: Platonic Moxiety - Relationship, hateful/hostile logicality
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	Shattering Morality

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags. I know I tag excessively but I want you guys to be safe. Enjoy reading ♥  
> (if there are any other things you would like me to tag, please please do so. I am open for suggestions and warnings! I want you to be safe so please do not proceed in case you recognise any potentially triggering content)
> 
> Basically: this is a lot of Patton angst.

Patton let out a shaky breath.  
  
It should not bother him so much. It should not eat away at him like this.  
Still, the feeling of dissolving from the inside, his heart slowly sizzling and hissing in pain, was there and left Patton to suffer in silence.  
  
Surely, he had promised to not keep all the bad feelings inside of him.  
Bottling up was bad.  
The idea of bottling up feelings sounded like fun. He could try to make happy feelings into bubbles and put them into bottles so he could send a feeling in a bottle to his beloved friends! He adored them and wanted them to know that they always had a piece of his heart with them.  
  
His lips flinched a bit, the corners of his mouth quickly shooting upwards before they immediately sunk into the neutral line.  
His body tried to smile.  
The moral side was used to smiling it all away but even his random happy thoughts just did not cut it anymore.  
  
Hah, cut. Like pie.  
Aw, it would be su-PIE to have some sweets at the moment. A little giggled tickled his throat but it faded as quick as it appeared within him.  
  
He was already steering towards the kitchen to go and get something to eat or maybe make a p-  
No. No, he should not!  
Logan told him to stop eating whenever he felt bad because it was bad for Thomas’ health... He was right but he still wanted to.  
  
Instead, he got a glass of water and drank.  
Adult things.  
Hydration was important and someone had to think of it so Thomas would not forget about it. Logan reminded them a lot and maybe .. maybe if he just did that instead, Logan would be happy with him and let him talk more during meetings and videos.  
  
Patton fidgeted with the cup in his hands instead of putting it into the dishwasher.  
Something... something..  
His mind was working on something but he did not know what it was. It felt like a vague idea, a picture rather than words.  
  
Sometimes he thought in pictures, sometimes in words or both. But right now, he seemed to think in feelings.  
But his mind did not give him any understanding of the foul feeling within him.  
  
It was like his heart was a glass bowl with a fish in it. Like in The Fairly OddParents! But he did not have funny Cosmo and Wanda in his chest. Instead, there were dark creatures that flinched and sprinted without warning.  
Whenver he came close to getting a grip on these vaguely greyish emotions, they suddenly bounced away from him.  
  
Fishes had a tendency to move suddenly and rest a bit or slow down immensely. They were funky creatures and he did not know much about them.  
Even if he could actually manage to catch one, it would just glide out of his hands. They had tiny gills and were wet and almost slimy. These tiny creatures were impossible to catch.  
Not only that, the chance of him feeling them for a start was hard.  
  
The water in his glass bowl was not transparent like water. It was soiled by multiple layers of colours that reminded him of oil you needed for cars.  
Deep and dark in colour.  
Just.. unpleasant.  
  
He did not enjoy any of these thoughts.  
  
Maybe it would be easier if he just set his feelings aside for a moment.  
  
His fingers rubbed against the smooth surface of the glass cup in his hands.  
The moral side stared at it for a bit longer before finally putting it into the machine and closing it at last.  
  
Yeah, adult things. He was doing well. He was being a very good adult by trying to move on, keep going, to be productive instead of dwelling on all these feelings.  
Logan would be proud!  
Maybe he could tell him later after he had calmed down.  
  
For now, he thought that talking to Virgil and seeking refugee in his arms was probably the best thing to do.  
Then he would not be in the way of Logan and his plan to make Thomas more efficient and productive in general.  
  
Morality was doing great!  
The logical side had recently given him a compliment for keeping away so much. Thomas had started working more instead of hanging out with friends as he usually did. It pleased the planning part of Thomas’ personality.  
Well, if Patton staying in his room a lot more helped them all then he would gladly do that.  
  
He did not mind.  
  
His feet stepped forward.  
Patton knew the way to Virgil’s room blindly.  
He knew Logan wanted silence because he was working alone with Thomas - he had told Patton to get out of his way and play or whatever... yeah, the adults were talking so he should better stay away.  
  
He nearly tripped.  
A hand extended to support his stand by pushing against a nearby wall.  
He was so close to Virgil’s room.  
  
If it was for him only, he would just sink out and appear but Virgil did not like that and making him anxious made him upset and would affect Thomas.  
Again, Logan would be mad...  
  
So he could not do that.  
  
Patton took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  
It was shaky, intense.  
One would think he was used to his chest stinging so much by now but even at this moment he could not help but stop to suck in breath after breath, each deeper than the other.  
  
He was not a fish so he had to breathe. When he hurt a lot, he needed to breathe a lot, Virgil had told him.  
After some time, the pain would get less, usually.  
  
...Often, it did but not always.  
It made the stinging a lot less worse!  
  
Still, it did not change the fact that he leaned against the wall once more, eyes closed and squinting wrinkles into his facial skin.  
He looked like a pug but not as adorable.  
...aw... he wanted to cuddle a dog now.. dogs would never let him feel a lot of pain.  
  
It was okay.  
Logan only wanted to help him and Thomas! It was okay if it cut back on Patton’s appearances every now and then.... or.. well, always. But hey! It was for the sake of their beloved Thomas and his productivity!  
After all, it was logical. Patton was the one to obstruct him with all these feelings and that made Logan’s work really hard.  
  
Even Virgil seemed more relaxed with Patton more in his or his own room.  
  
Patton held his heart and rubbed his fingers against his skin, softly massaging into the pain. He could barely tell whether it made it worse or better but it gave him something to do.  
  
One deeper breath in.  
Mmmm.  
And a whole shaky breath out.  
  
Yes, yes.  
  
His lungs danced under his ribcage and his fingers worked the magic of drumming against his skin and lessen the stabbing sensation in his heart.  
When he thought about it, the agony seemed like a much heavier sensation than before but he quickly reprimanded himself.  
  
How could he be so thoughtless to just think about his feelings?  
Logan said to ignore it.  
He had to ignore it.  
  
It distracted Thomas!  
  
“Hahh”, Patton panted out.  
  
The pain was fading away, nearly gone.  
Like a snake, it was slowly sliding away, only a bit of tail trailing after the head.  
Almost gone.  
  
Patton continued breathing like the great adult he was.  
  
Four....  
Seven..  
Eight.  
  
He had the pattON memorised.  
It was oddly comforting.  
Not just the breathing but also the counting in his head were nice.. they made the hurt go away, they blew down the steam of his boiling pot of feelings with all these dying and screaming fishes inside.  
  
The moral side slowly let his hand slide towards the ground, his palm lifting itself from the stability first. Eventually, his fingers joined and even their tips’ soft pads broke contact with the concrete.  
  
Virgil.  
  
Yes, he wanted to go to Virgil and just hug it out and listen to these really funny songs his soft friend would play for him and giggle and jump around.  
The anxious side was not lazy at all with how much he bounced around his room in rhythm to the loud music he often jammed to.  
  
Ah, kids these days.  
  
He loved him, no matter what. Even as a teenager, he loved Virgil and all the other light sides.  
  
Foot steps could be heard as he finally set himself into motion again.  
  
At last, he made it over to Virgil’s room.  
As polite as always, Patton made sure to knock first.  
  
Two times.  
Then he waited for a while.  
  
“Virgil, it is meee~ It is me, mangorality!”  
  
He could hear a snort before the door opened and Virgil stood before him, just a bit taller than Patton himself.  
  
“Patton! Come in!”  
  
The emo stepped aside and Patton took the hint to come inside and look around. As always, he took a moment to appreciate the interior.  
Virgil did change his interior a slight bit every time the season changed a bit or something special came up. Halloween was a special thing.  
  
The room always had some spider webs. There were dark curtains, band and film posters.  
Patton had made him a drawing based on the Disney film liked so much - Black Cauldron, he one without all the singing.  
It was on his nightstand in a little framed photo.  
He did not have to check, he knew it was there. He could feel it, could rely on it.  
  
Virgil cherished their friendship.  
  
Whenever Morality came into his room, he could feel the slight tickles of anxiety intensifying his emotions but at the same time, he would have Virgil and his comforting, calm energy around.  
It was nice.  
It was pearls running over his chest, slowly trailing down and combining to a weight on him that just felt like a warm hand on his heart.  
  
“What up, popsicle?”  
  
The guest fell into a tirade of giggles and carefully shifted closer to Virgil.  
His favourite Kylo friend did not budge away at all but laid an arm around him. He was pulled in and immediately snuggled closer to the signature warmth of a black-hooded cuddle buddy.  
  
The shadowy fishes in his heart seemed to be outshone by the warmth and light Virgil sparked within Patton with the simple mutuality of some physical contact.  
It was not even skin-to-skin.  
Still, he was melting.  
  
“Ah, you know.. We worked on some ideas together! Thomas asked for help and Logan was there too but Thomas said we headbutt again and then Logan ..”  
Patton sighed.  
“Logan made me leave because I made Thomas unproductive again.”  
  
His voice dropped and so did his body.  
It sagged against Virgil with heaviness and made the anxious side tug the fatherly man over to his bed.  
  
It was this time of the day again.  
  
The atmosphere of the room seemed to change.  
The layers of darkness were gone in Patton’s fishy heart but they now haunted the width of Virgil’s room with foggy transparency.  
  
“I-it.. it hurts so much!”  
  
Bubbles of water welled up in Patton’s eyes.  
Hot, uncontrolled and messy.  
They spilled from his eyes and all over his cheeks, storming down his face in rivers as they wet his skin and stained the usually oh so happy mask.  
  
Breathing was hard, it ..it hurt.  
It was agony to suck in oxygen.  
  
Existence was pain.  
  
There was nothing but darkness and hurt in Patton.  
Hurt hurt hurt  
So much hurt  
It hurt!!  
  
“Patton, no! No”, Virgil interjected.  
  
His thick, dark voice stabbed through the angry voices and cracks in Patton’s heart. The barrier of dark layers was cut through and for a moment, the tightness in his chest was just a bit better.  
  
There was cities and hordes of people on his chest, still. Whole worlds and every crime and guilt to ever be imagined and committed.  
He struggled to breath, to be.  
His blind hands reached for Virgil who was holding him still and allowed his bestest friend to touch his chest and let him eventually find his shoulders.  
  
Virgil did not let himself be distracted.  
He drew his friend into his arms, into his lap and cuddled him.  
  
“It is okay, Pat, really.”  
  
“NO!”  
  
The moral side screeched and curled as if in physical pain.  
His head slid down from Virgil’s shoulder to his chest and he forced the oxygen out of his constricting lungs.  
They did not want him to live either.  
It hurt.. it hurt.. it hurt so so bad.  
  
Breathing felt like swallowing when your throat was all swollen and red and hurt like during the flu.  
  
“Why does he hate me, Virgil, why does he hurt me so much. He hates me, he hates me! He does not even want me to be around Thomas, he glares at me the second I show up and he ignores everything I say! He only ever pays attention when Thomas himself repeats what I said and you know that he just shoots him down on these occasions”  
  
Patton wrung for breath, his words stuck in his throat.  
He was swallowing on his own complaints, on his desperation and his fears.  
That is what he got for disclosing instead of pretending to be okay.  
  
Why.. why..  
  
Why did Logan give him a cat onesie when he wanted him gone? When he kept making him leave or actively excluded him from videos. He had prevented Thomas from summoning him on multiple occasions by just appearing himself instead of letting Patton appear.  
  
He was blocking them off.  
  
Why..  
  
Why?  
  
WHY?!  
  
Patton’s body shook and he flinched.  
  
He felt the whipping agony of Logan’s word cutting into the flesh of his mind.  
Red, burning streaks appeared inside of him and he could basically feel his chest build actual scar tissue.  
  
Probably crap.  
Yeah, he was full of poop, according to Logan.  
All feelings, no logic.  
  
“Patton, you need to breathe, breathe with me”  
  
The voice was so distant, so blurry and wild.  
Patton barely recognised the sound to be a coherent noise, a voiced sentence of meaning by that.  
The lifeline before him was a messy bunch of notes, a disturbance.  
  
It stirred up the bad feelings of him even worse.  
  
“V-Vi... What did I do..?”  
  
His breath hitched and his next attempt at a sentence simply ended in a mess of stutters and sobs.  
  
“Shhhhh...”  
  
Virgil persistently squished his friend in his arms.  
Patton grunted in discomfort but his wiggles only made Virgil hug him harder.  
  
“Vir-”  
  
The anxious side looked down at him and put a hand on his back, pressing it from the other side towards his chest.  
  
Patton cried harder.  
  
He could not even breathe and his head was only fire and glowing dizziness  
Even his ears were smoking with tears and frustration.  
  
Feelings really were that strong.  
  
Patton’s body continued to flare his skin up with goosebumps. Shudders and dizzy spells hit Patton and the violent sobs still rippled through his vulnerable form.  
Virgil squeezed him from time to time and told him to be quiet when he started to speak up.  
  
Eventually, even opening his mouth had his friend shush him without missing a beat.  
  
But it hurt.  
  
His chest cleared up but it was so tight.  
He did not remember the last time he had drawn an unrestricted breath, when he had full lungs and energetic breathing rather than shallow or violent spasms of his muscles.  
  
Patton was calmer.  
His body was limb between Virgil’s legs and he curled up like a miserable fetus stretching for their absent caretaker’s love.  
They were alone on the diaper changing table.  
  
Patton was not alone.  
Virgil was there...  
But in some ways, he was truly lonely and not even his best friend being there with him, letting him lean against his chest and rest on his body could really have him feel like he was not completely alone in this world.  
  
“Fuck Logan. He is not here.”  
  
Patton inhaled.  
  
Language.  
  
He did not have the heart to say it.  
The way Virgil held him was a finger on his lips and he wanted to be silent forever.  
  
Logan would want that too.  
They all wanted him to be silent.  
Roman just gave him weird looks but did not really say much.  
  
Instead of correcting Virgil, the fatherly figure considered simply nodding.  
It was always better to nod and agree.  
When he did that, everyone liked him.  
Especially when he smiled too or maybe made some jokes to keep up a good mood. It helped the sides, it helped Thomas and his audience.  
  
“I have just the thing to help you out. It is pretty private.. uh..”, VIrgil’s voice went from clear to dark and it dipped deeper.  
“If I show you, you have to be quiet about it.”  
  
His hands dug into Patton’s body.  
  
A whine escaped his lips, broke the seal of silence he had wanted to keep so much.  
  
Fine.  
  
“S-sure kiddo!”  
  
Virgil’s black fingernails retreated a bit but the pressure was still there.  
It was lighter, though.  
His friend just wanted to hug him a lot because he wanted to help him and that was how he showed it.  
  
Maybe he should teach Virgil how to hug people better...  
He probably did not exactly learn that from the others.  
  
Patton swallowed the thick mass that was his doubt.  
It was crawling down his throat, heavy and lethargic in its movement. Nothing was harder to swallow than moments like this when people gave him vibes he knew better than to ignore.  
Still, he wanted to believe the best to happen.  
  
People were inherently good so he could trust others, especially his friends.  
On top of that, Virgil was clearly his best friend.  
  
“Alright”, Virgil spoke.  
His words seemed so heavy as they launched from his tongue and right into the ground.  
“I will show you.”  
  
He shifted a bit and let go off Patton.  
The moral side inhaled deeply, the heavy feeling on his chest away for long enough so he could breathe freely and properly. Now that Virgil did not hug him anymore, he could adjust a bit but as soon as his body shifted, one of Virgil’s arms, that was still loosely around his hip, immediately fastened around him like a safety belt.  
You move rapidly, it restrains you in order to safely keep you within the vehicle - in case of a crash.  
  
And it was more than just restricting, it was limiting, it was holding him back and hid rips were creaking and squeaking under the torture of so much force pushing against his chest.  
They were curling and arching, threatening to give in.  
  
Patton gasped at the sudden pressure applied to his body and he shrunk into himself. At the same time, his best friend, the dark little emoshine returned, a little box in his hand.  
  
“I got you, Patton. I will never let you go.”  
  
The usually oh-so happy and pappy man feared that he would never be able to smile through the icy shiver that ran through his body, chilling him down and making him tremble and sniffle.  
He could not help but dread these words. Otherwise so sweet-sounding and lovely to his heart, he could not bring himself to be flattered.  
  
He was terrified.  
When Virgil did not try to scare them, he certainly did an even better job at it than he usually did already.  
After all, he still was anxiety and not just a shimmering gem that needed to be freed from his cage of hardened dirt that dared tainting his beauty and true shine.  
  
“W-what’cha got there, kiddo?”  
  
His voice was hopeful, it was the little shine of light breaking through the spaces of the blinds that blocked out all the sun and other sources of illumination.  
There was darkness only, even with his weak attempts at making it through, his voice was swallowed by the room around him.  
  
“Because we are friends. We are best friends, right?”  
  
Virgil’s long fingers curled around the metal box. It was just small enough to fit into his hand judging from how broad it was but it was longer than his hands.  
The arms around Patton framed his sides but he was not held so tightly anymore.   
  
Patton hummed in agreement.  
  
The slender digits pushed against the opening of the box and broke it open, splitting the two sides.  
  
“O-of course, Vi-we are friends.”  
  
His voice was shaking with his body.  
Actually, his whole soul seemed to tremble before the box.  
  
Virgil’s hands revealed the insides of a box after he pulled the sides apart and laid the contents open, letting the scarce light of the day illuminate the area.  
The metal box had even more metal inside.  
  
A little silverish thing was shining inside and a bit of cloth and some band-aids were there as well. A small tube of sanitising solution was packed next to it.  
  
“Virgil?”  
  
The former darkside left the innocent box or horrors in Patton’s lap and retreated to hug him again, his hands choking his existence.  
He was already close to tears.  
  
It was still better than talking to Logan...  
  
His friend did not speak, he just gave Patton’s cheek a little cheek and nudged his side once more.  
  
“Take it. I promise it will help.”  
  
Patton’s shuddering heart complied. It calmed itself when the moral side melted into the little bit of affection he was shown.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
He pressed his lips together and licked them.  
His mind was unsure whether he was trying to think about this again or just stalling but the taste of fear would not leave his tongue anyway, no matter how much he rubbed it against his lips and tried to wash it free from his sin, his flaws and faults.  
  
“I trust you, Virgil. I would always trust you.”  
  
The other side eased his grip on him and closed his eyes, relishing in the image of being loved, of being the accepted and trusted side.  
His lips spread into a smile.  
  
“You can do it, Patton. Take it and feel the magic. It will draw all your fears away.”  
  
Patton let out an unsteady breath and carefully reached forward, gracing the box as he took the little blade up with his smooth fingers.  
His caring hands held the sharp thing up and he took the time to lean in and look at the tool.  
  
It felt so easy to focus on the cutting edge, the silver steel and the gleaming shine of promise and relief.  
For some reason, he felt.. absolutely captivated by the little something before him.  
  
“But w-...what do I do with it? It looks very nice”  
  
His tongue pressed against his gums and decided to stop himself any more than that. Not that he really knew what else to say.  
  
Virgil grabbed the blade with one hand and wrapped his other hand around Patton’s wrist.  
  
“You gotta use that cardigan of yours later, my little popstar.”  
  
Patton wanted to ask what this what about and why he would say such things but before he could even look back at his friend, he felt a sharp pain literally cut through him.  
His skin split apart where Virgil ran the edgy side of the tool over his exposed arm.  
  
His arm flinched, wanting to pull away from the stinging pain.  
It did not hurt much, it was just intense, it was so so intense and present.  
This was the kind of pain to wake you up and suck in a breath rather than groan at the dullness and constancy of it.  
  
Red pearls started blooming from the cut through his skin, little strings of tissue could be seen but they quickly drowned in the wine red liquid filling up the sudden abyss within his arm that was created through Virgil’s intervention.  
  
His pulse spiked up and he pressed his back against Virgil’s chest.  
  
“Virgil!”  
  
Patton did not even what to say, how to articulate his thoughts, form any words at all.  
It was all blank.  
His mind ran out of him like the blood flowing out of his arm and slowly travelling down his skin to drip onto the dark sheets below him.  
  
Patton hiccuped and sniffled, his body already retreating into his fetal position for protection. He was ready to tolerate worse.  
  
Heart pumping and blood flowing, the first tears rolled over his curves cheeks as he instinctively pushed into Virgil’s arms further.  
  
“m sorreh”, he squeaked into his own arms. The sounds were mostly swallowed away by his desperate hiccups and wretched sobs.  
  
Red life juice dripped everywhere, burning at Patton’s open wound and screeching in alarm at the injury.  
  
Virgil pushed him back into place.  
  
“It is okay, keep going”, he instructed, calmly as always but his voice doubling a slightest bit, “I don’t care about the blood, it’s just some fucking sheets.”  
  
His mouth fell open to restrict Virgil’s speech and reprimand him. Using such filthy words was not good for any of them - especially Thomas.  
But instead he let out a gasped breath and shook his head.  
Still, he moved into position as before and Virgil made sure to pad his arm clean with a cotton pad.  
  
The movements were clean, secure. The white balls sucked up all the crimson crime and slowly removed every sign of sin Patton had spilled with his mistakes.  
  
He wanted to apologise again but decided to swallow it again.  
Along with the tears, he just drank up all questions and panic so it would be good.  
  
If he tried hard enough, everything would be okay, it would be great and fine and all would be great. Thomas would love him again and Logan would be nice if he tried hard enough... just trying more and more until it would work again.  
  
Instead, he caught the little instrument of pain Virgil plopped into his hands after nudging him into a proper position.  
As before, he put the blade down, close to the injury on his arm.  
  
The blood was rather dried by now and white balls tainted in red were between his crossed legs. Slowly, Patton pressed the stinging feeling further into his skin until he pushed through, closing his eyes and holding his breath as he let the sharpness run through his arm once more.  
As before, blood bubbled up in large amounts, pushing forward to cover up all the exposed skin he had forced apart.  
  
More dark juiced flew over his arm, decorating his pants, Virgil’s bed and Patton’ heart. The arms around him returned but this time they felt soft and supportive.  
The tears were standing in his eyes, patient and Patton-pending.  
The streaks on his cheeks were dried and felt hard when the moral side’s lips twitched to make space for sucking in a large potion of oxygen.  
  
“Good, Patton. Let all your bad feelings spill out of you”, Virgil spoke softly.  
  
The man gently nudged him.  
It was a silent command to keep going and before Patton knew it, he had draw the blade a few more times until he was dizzy and exhausted, heartache faded and vision blurry.  
  
Virgil held and supported him through it all and now busied himself in softly patting and massaging his shoulders as his friend struggled to regain proper conscious.  
With all his energy leaving him, Patton did feel better. Tears and blood were dried by now and his problems seemed so far away, he wondered whether Logan had ever been anything but gentle and considerate with him.  
  
“You did well, my dear”  
  
Patton heard the subtle mumbles coming from the other and he gave a barely visible nod.  
A few sounds escaped his mouth as and he let himself sink further into Virgil’s chest, a sweet bliss of being free of worries and mental pain blessed him.  
The physical pain was still burning into him.  
  
It was like eating very spicy things but his arm was his tongue and it was very concentrated and hot for certain areas.  
The stinging was persistent, especially with Virgil applying certain pressure to it as he cleaned the streaks and cliffs of injury.  
  
“I hope you are feeling better at all or something. I got other methods, too.. you just have to be quiet about it.”  
  
Virgil dipped a ball of cotton into sanitising solution and carefully shushed his blabbering friend who was still too far gone to react appropriately.  
  
“This will sting a lot, prepare for it”, he warned and carefully secured Patton’s abused arm with his own other hand.  
“Breath in, now”  
  
With his last words, he proceeded to press the damp fluffy ball against his arm.  
Without missing a beat, Patton hissed at the sensation, the sudden intense burning undeniably torturous as it did not leave him any space to take refugee to.  
  
“Ow ow ow ow ow!!”, he whined rapidly, his words merging into one lazy string of sounds that could not be spliced.  
  
Virgil’s steel grip on him returned and he pushed Patton back into the spit between his own legs that were clad in black ripped jeans as always.  
  
“I am almost done, stop being a baby. You are free from all the bad feelings, so be happy about it!”  
  
The Tempest Tongue had Patton quieted down.  
His mind was too fuzzy to disobey, too out of it to argue and point out that he was not overreacting but there was another thing holding him back.  
Virgil was right.  
  
Even after this event, he found himself returning to Virgil’s room for bruising hugs and stinging wounds. There was always the worst part, the stinging and flaming clean-up afterwards and obviously the hissed words and strict voice Virgil used on him.  
  
Eventually, he learned how to do it alone but it was nicer with someone else around and hug him. He learned how to hide away and excuse things such as wearing his cardigan because it was so cold or fit his new aesthetic.  
Logan said he looked more serious and he agreed.  
  
Still, he did not get a place to talk to Thomas much. At least he knew how to cope with the rejection pains by now.  
Without the pain, he made sure to freshly cut himself some slack every now and then.  
  
Literally.  
  



End file.
